Sunday, June 20, 2010

Reflections on Father's Day & Lesson 14

For a few hours today, Keree got to spend Father's day with her Godfather aka my Brother. He honestly loves and adores her more than any actually Father could love a child. I mean how many under 25 Uncle's would have set-up a college fund for their niece/nephew. He took off a 1 1/2 yrs between his Bachelors and Master programs and I can't tell you the countless hours he walked the halls of our house with her in the middle of the night because she was in so much pain from her legs and to give me a little time to sleep. I also know that his Girlfriend is quite jealous of Keree because she comes first, even before our Mom. No, I didn't ask my Brother to be this protecting. Honestly he was a little hesitant and not very keen, when I started the whole adoption journey. He had his reservations and had no problem letting me know them (oh, the arguments we had). But the minute he held Keree in his arms, it didn't matter anymore, he would move Heaven and Earth for his Niece. Keree had picked out a few things to give him for Godfather's day. Of course her favorite thing she picked out was the mug but she was disappointed because it had ice cream and fish on it and she really wanted it to have ice cream, shrimp and cats on it.
After we said good-bye to Brother, we were suppose to head to a one-time evening camp for girls 4-15. Well I was contacted right before the event and was told Keree didn't qualify because of her age.....WTH? I go, I'm sorry I don't understand, she's 4 years old. The catch was she had to be a 4 year old born in 2005. Downright ridiculous if you ask me, so we ended up spending a quiet evening at home. We did cover Lesson 14, where of course we learned a new Letter, the sound it makes, rhymed, read words, read a sentence and then sentence/story comprehension. I have to say that I really suck at knowing what a single letter is suppose to sound like, I'm so thankful there is a parent cheat area at the front of the book. I was also excited that I meet someone else last week who used the same system we are using and her daughter (who is younger than Keree) is reading. So I'm confident that this will work. I'm still looking for a good Math book. As I said earlier, we were sent the wrong Math book and then when I tried to exchange it, they don't have that book. They gave me back my money, after weeks of hassling. But now I can't find the book at a reasonable price. So until then, I've decided to work in those Math workbooks they sale at the Dollar store because why would I pay Wallymart prices for nearly the same book.
Otherwise today I remember my Dad and my Grandpa who have passed on and spoke to one of two Grandpa's who are still alive. I have to say that a few months ago, I was really excited for Father's day to come around. I had planned on buying Grizzly tickets (awesome Sunday coupon you pay $6 for 4 Box Seats), so my Dad, Brother, Keree and I could go enjoy a game together. It was going to be the first Father's day, my Brother had spent with my Dad since he was 2. It's sad to think, my Dad always had Custody of us on Father's day and he never came to pick us up. I remember being dressed in our best, sitting on the steps of the wooden porch with our handmade Father's day cards and presents, waiting for him to show up. And then watching the clock tick by. We did this every year for years, until finally we just gave up because we knew he wasn't going to show up. He would drop out of our lives completely for years at a time and then reappear. We would have a few good months/years and then he was gone again. He always tried to blame us as the problem, we screwed up his life, he hated having to pay child support, he wished we were never born, we were never good enough but all we ever wanted from him was to love us. Then at the end of last year, we really thought he had turned a corner....well I thought he had turned a corner, I thought he had saw the light, I thought he was a changed man and I thought he was finally capable of love. Now I'm not so sure......

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