Saturday, January 22, 2011

Another Heartbreaking Loss....

Our day started out well, we took our time getting up out of bed and then slowly got dressed. We got there in plenty of time to gather outside in the hallway since the other teams were still playing. Once it was over, I accompanied my girl over to the sideline with the rest of her squad, I felt like some kind of over protective Mom. But seriously, she couldn't carry both her megaphone and pompoms by herself, so of course Momma is gonna help. So once I got her settled, I headed over to my seat. We scored prime seats directly across from the girls, too bad the lighting was shotty and I was shooting across a gym, so my pictures are funky looking. After the basketball players played 4 - 6 minute quarters, all the while the girls either cheering or chanting on the sidelines. It was then time for the girls. They announced each of the girls names over the intercom and they got to run out to center court. Then they performed one cheer and ran back to the sidelines so the basketball game to continue. After that, their was 2 more 6 minute quarters before the game was over and all the children gather in the other room to awarded with one of 5 colored stars. Keree earned her Spirit star this week (which is gold) because she did such a great job leading the girls in cheers. After the game was finished, we headed off for a few errands (needed to make the car payment) and since it was almost 2p, we picked up some lunch. Once we got home, both Keree and I laid down for a nap. She was exhausted and was starting to get really grouchy. I didn't think I was tired but before I knew it, I was asleep too. In my drowsiness, I heard the phone ring but decided it could wait till after I woke up because nobody wants to talk to me in a half-sleep stoper. When I woke up, I had totally forgotten the phone had rang, so I didn't check it right away. We had been up for about a 1/2 hr at that point, when suddenly I remembered the phone rang. I checked the id and it was a call from my Grandma's house. I was a little perplexed because she never calls me, I mean once in a blue moon (4 times in the last 6 yrs) she would call but usually I am always the one who initiated the call first. So I decided to check messages and it was from my Uncle T. I knew then that something horrible had happened. My Uncle T has not spoken to me since July 9, 2003, the day of my Grandpa's funeral. Before then, we had been close, we spent various holidays together, he was the first to reach out to us when my parents divorced, so losing him and his wife was hard. I paced back and forth not wanting to make the call, I thought I knew what he was going to say but I was in denial about it. I finally got up the courage and when the call started, he was being so formal, like I was a client or something. I just let him talk because of course I was crying on the opposite end of the phone. I think when I finally did speak and he heard the crack in my voice, suddenly I wasn't the enemy, I was just his niece, the oldest and only granddaughter who was just told her Grandma had died. He told me, she had passed on peacefully in her sleep. I was thankful because she had always told me that she wanted to die in her house, in her bed and in her sleep. He asked me if I wanted to call my Brother or did I want him too. Of course, there was no way in h*ll I was letting him break the news to my Brother. He gave me a quick run down on what he was planning and we said our good-byes. I sat there staring at my Mom with Keree sitting on her lap and then, I just broke down again. I told my Mom that there was no way I could call my Brother and begged her to call. My Mom knew my Brother was already having a bad day, so she didn't want to call either. So while she called, Keree crawled up on my lap. I was waiting to tell Keree the day of the funeral that Grandma had passed but she over heard my Mom. She looked at me and bluntly asked "Grandma passed on, so that means she's dead (said with some urgency in her voice), did they put her in the ground and put dirt on her?" So, I told her that yes, Grandma passed away and she's in heaven now. I told her that we would go to the church for a funeral, her body would be in a box called a casket and then they would bury her, but she's in heaven. She looked at me and just goes, ok. The rest of the night, I had a wide range of emotions. I can't sleep and my stomach is in knots over how this funeral will play out because this side of my family is so splintered.

No comments:

Post a Comment