Monday, February 4, 2013

Today's the Day....

This morning, we were all up bright and early. I can't believe today is the day, this will be the first time for me to be away from Keree for more than 10 hours. I gave Keree a great big hug good-bye. I walked them out to the car with tears running down my face and watched them drive off. Keree had an appointment at the hospital concerning the popping her good knee has been doing again. This is the first doctor's appointment that I was going to miss. I ran to Wallymart after they left, to pick them up some food for the next few weeks and also a few things for myself. Then, it was time to leave......I started to cry even harder, I'm know this is for the best of my family but honestly how can I really do this. I keep thinking, how can I really be away from Keree for weeks at a time. But even with the tears streaming down my face, I got in the car, started it and drove away. I cried as I drove, I cried through 3 States before I finally stopped for some lunch in Kentucky. Needless to say, I was so upset that lunch tasted horrible. So, I continued to drive and cry and threaten to turn back home. I kept trying to reason with myself that no job was worth being away from my daughter.
Then finally, I hit Tennessee. I still don't know how I got there because of all the crying I had done. I pulled over at the first rest stop into the state and called home. I told my Mom that I was turning around, that I was headed home. She laughed at me. Then Keree wanted to talk to me. She told me how her Doctor's appt went and then she told me "Mommy I miss you so much." Yep, I was going to turn around and go home. But I didn't. I got to my Uncle's house around 3pm....he was mad and told me that he wasn't expecting me. Umm, thanks alot, because I called you and told you and you said ok, that I could stay with you. I was honestly waiting for him to close the door on me and say that I can't stay there. With a Welcome like that, it made me being away from Keree even harder. We talked awhile and he asked me a thousand questions about this new job, which honestly most of them I couldn't answer yet. I called my Mom and told her I arrived safely. She told me about Keree's doctor's appointment, that her leg length is gaping too much. That instead of the 1/4" difference every six months, that suddenly it's almost 1/2" every three months. She told me that they need to increase the lift on Keree's shoes and hoping that will help the wear and tear that is happening with her good leg/knee. Then the Doctor said that come next year they we were going to have to have a long talk on lengthening. Something I didn't want to hear but knew it was coming, so were looking at another surgery.
After everything was said and done, I got ready for tomorrow. I packed my lunch, laid out my clothes and set my alarm. I feel asleep crying, scared at what lies ahead, missing my daughter and just wondering am I making the right decision.

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